Living in Britain

Glastonbury, England - as viewed from the Tor
copyright Viking Visual

In 1997, the day that Tony Blair was elected into office, I was entering the UK to live, bleary-eyed from a very short night's sleep during the flight from New York. I had my (then) husband and our baby with me. I got through customs on my single-entry, wife visa and began my 16.5 years of living in the UK.

Hopefully, you will have already had the experience of visiting the UK on holiday (vacation) to get the flavor of shopping, traveling and site-seeing. However, no vacation will give you the trials which ordinary living will give you – such as trying to find a decent broom or getting to grips with making the perfect cuppa (cup of tea.)

Logistics

The UK is one of the harder countries to move to if you're not already a citizen of the EU. (Even within the EU, it is one of the harder countries to enter – along with Ireland and Denmark.) If you want to retire in the UK, it is difficult unless you have plenty of money (Madonna has a considerable estate there) – but that isn't true for most of us. If you are retiring, it's best to start somewhere else in the EU where all they care about is whether your social security and/or pension is enough to support you... then you can move to the UK later after you've become an EU citizen. (By then, of course, you'll probably be too used to Mediterranean living – perhaps – too care about the UK!)

In general, it's a lot easier to move to Britain if you have a good job and/or you have a spouse or parent who is a citizen.

If you are doing the international relationship thing, I can say that it's a LOT easier to live together in the UK than it is to do it in the USA.

* I have a friend who tried to bring her husband to the US – but was prevented by something stupid he did as a teenager (he was, like, 50 when he applied!) In the end, they gave up on it – she wasn't able to move to the UK (kids) and he wasn't able to move to the USA.

* I considered trying to get a partner of mine into the USA, but would've required quite a lucrative financial situation to have any chance at all. Not feasible for many, including myself.

A word of warning on these international relationships though. They are a beautiful thing when they work. When they don't, the foreigner often finds themselves trapped in a foreign country due to child issues. I remained in Britain for almost 10 years AFTER the marriage failed for that reason. I know others who have had the same problem (or the same in reverse.)

Some years after I became a permanent resident in the UK, they brought in the “Life in the UK” test – which brought about much amusement within the country with articles in the newspapers showing people that most citizens could not have passed it without considerable study! Yet, this is needed if you wish to become a permanent resident or citizen. The book for it is available at most book stores and probably many news agents as well. It is very dry reading, but if you can read all the way through and take the practice exams online, you shouldn't have too much trouble, especially if you speak English reasonably well.

Driving

When you arrive in the UK, you get a whole year to use your US drivers' license before you must sit your British exam in order to keep driving. (Going to the US, your UK license tends to be good only for a month – surprising when you discover just how much harder the UK license is – and how much more training you must have in order to pass!)

The first thing you need to have is a copy of the “Highway Code” available in most news agents and book stores. It includes all you need to know – including how to operate one of those dreaded roundabouts which you will find littered everywhere you want to drive. (Used correctly, roundabouts are an excellent solution to an intersection with uneven traffic flow or not quite busy enough to justify traffic lights yet.) Do realize that almost all UK cars are manual transmission, so if you need an automatic, you will need to make special arrangements. (If you take your exam in an automatic, you will be licensed only for automatics!)

As the driver's exam is much harder in the UK than it is anywhere in the USA, it is prudent to purchase some private training through any of the many driving schools in the UK. It is quite normal to fail the test the first attempt (or two...)

A surprisingly large percentage of the British population do not drive. But considering the excellent public transit system, it makes more sense...

Public transit

Compared with almost anywhere in the USA, the public transit system in the UK is amazing! It shouldn't be too surprising, considering the population density of the country, but it is very easy to get used to the idea that there are trains to almost anywhere you might want to go. Most of the rest of the country is very well connected using buses. I was very impressed with the buses in south Wales where you really could go almost anywhere without driving yourself.

You will want to get familiar with pages such as the National Rail website, the individual company websites such as First and Stagecoach. Then, there's National Express and other smaller networks.

Climate

When using a USDA-styled climate map, the UK ranges from a zone 10 on the Isles of Scilly off the SW coast of Cornwall to a zone 7 over the hills of northern Britain. Compared to much of the US, the UK enjoys a very comfortable climate. It generally never gets either super hot nor super cold.

Obviously, it does differ from region to region. In Southampton, where I was for almost seven years, I likened the growing season to southern coastal Oregon... where fuchsias are evergreen most years.

In Berkshire and Wiltshire, it was more like the Willamette Valley, just a little cloudier. South Wales was like being in coastal Washington.

Northern parts of Britain – and along the North Sea coast, there is a much more substantial snowfall in most years. Generally, the NE coastline gets the first snowfall. I would liken this part of the country to the East Coast of the USA, without the temperature extremes.

Although the UK does not experience the same sorts of temperature extremes as you see in the USA, due to the humidity, you may find that UK extremes feel very similar to USA extremes. I've also learned that simply translating Farenheit to Celcius doesn't give an accurate guide for how the air feels.

Religion

There is no official “separation of church and state” in Britain. Christian beliefs and heritage are fairly deeply entrenched throughout the country. But although most Brits are nominally Anglican (similar to Episcopalian in the US,) the actual adherence is quite low.

Christianity definitely has the largest religious following – and most denominations can be found in large numbers – from the Brethren and Quakers to Anglicans and Catholics to Baptists and Penticostals. Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses are found in large numbers as well. Additionally, many other faiths can be found in Britain, whether ancient and native (like druidry) or foreign (like Islam) or modern (like Jediism,) The pagan movement is very strong and better tolerated than it is in the USA. As you can see, Britain is a very multi-faith country.

LGBT Pride

Gay pride is alive and well in Britain. “Civil partnership” which includes “gay marriage” has been around for a few years now giving hope to many couples who were not able to have legal protections previously. (This includes the ability to inherit property and the ability to access help in cases of domestic violence.) Although many may not see it as being the same as “marriage”, it is probably this very difference which allowed it to slide into the UK years before the movement picked up a similar level of momentum in the USA.

Family Freedoms

Home births are common in the UK and midwifery is a respected profession – though, as with many professions, there has been a recent shortage. In general, though, the UK is a very good place to have a baby. The mother is well-looked-after, from the beginning stages clear through several months after the birth. No rushing to the doctor in those early days after birth unless it is medically required. It's a much more laid back – much more “natural” process. Not to mention the fact that as a legal resident, your healthcare is FREE!!! (Dental and prescriptions are also free while you are pregnant and during the year afterwards.)

Home education is less regulated than many places. Although the current trend is towards more regulation (annual checks and a register) – it is still only the equivalent of the “yellow” states on the map of home school regulations for the US.

Although vaccination is strongly encouraged and expected, there are no penalties for someone who opts out. A parent can also choose to delay vaccines or accept some and refuse others. Currently, schools do not require vaccination records before admission into the education system.

Discipline is regulated in Scotland, where it is illegal to “smack” (spank) children... even your own. (Note: whereas in the USA, the word “smack” has a very violent connotation, in the UK, it's the word “spank” which is the stronger word – not one you want to get wrong.)

Recently, Scotland has been in the process of implementing some rather draconian parenting laws about having a “named person” (social worker) for every child in the country. From the freedom-loving point of view, I'd stay clear of Scotland for the near future.

I can say both good things and bad things about living in the UK. I lived there for many years, but it never truly became home – yet, having left, I can also say that a very large part of my heart was left behind too. Not just in the people I have left behind, but the familiarity I have with a country where I spent nearly all my adult life up until the time I left – the country where I achieved the fullness of motherhood and experienced the heartache of family breakdown and other personal struggles.

If you have further questions, please leave them in the comments and I'll answer them in a future Q & A blog post.